Do you pack everything in the "stress" backpack and keep going?

What do you do when you cannot sleep properly? or when you experience heartburn at most of what you eat? or when you cannot find energy to play with your kids, or to go out with friends or to play sports, or whatever is that you want to do?

I used to pack it all in the "stress" backpack and keep going.

At a certain moment in my life, there was no one day in which I was feeling 100% physically. I was experiencing different symptoms at different

moments: I had a headache, and many times was dizzy, as a side effect of my back muscles being too tight. I had heartburn because I was nervous most of the time, limiting what I was able to eat.

I was feeling exhausted but tension would not allow me to rest properly. I could fall asleep easily but I was bruxing, tensing the muscles on my neck, which would contribute to my headaches and dizziness.

I went to many specialist doctors, and they would all give the same root cause: “You are stressed”

That would make total sense to me so I would take some pills and just keep going.

Until one day, I lost sight from one eye. During 30min, my left eye went blind.

I panicked and started a series to different specialists to really make sure there was nothing serious. I mean, it could not all be stress related!

I saw doctor after doctor for months. Finally, something came up: my brain scan showed some spots. Panic again. This could be serious.

Several studies after, it was concluded it was none of the serious things that could be but, those spots were a consequence of my continuous headaches.

I was surprised: headaches were not that strong and they were nothing “out of normal”. Most of the time I could barely notice them.

How could those headaches be leaving spots in my brain?

I remember the doctor seeing through my fear and confusion and gently asking: would you please walk me through your day?

I did, and while I was talking, I started to cry.

I was going through a busy period: my house was being built, I was about to get married, I was doing a highly demanding MBA and I was traveling at least 2 weeks per month because of work. All that translated in 4 to 5 hours of sleep per day, including weekends, eating while studying or working or putting the house in order (literally eating while moving around), trying to compensate my fiancée demands because I was never home, very little time to dedicate to my family, no time for friends nor fun and tons of guilt feelings about it.

That's why I was not considering any of my symptoms too serious, I was not paying attention to the cost my lifestyle was having on me.

Doctor gave me a pill to stop my headaches but also prescribed a minimum of 7hours sleep per night, exercise 3 times a week and to sit down and have proper meals at least 3 times a day.

I did my best to try and explain to her how all that was impossible but didn’t buy into any of my excuses. She firmly said: “if you are not willing to become your priority, look for another neurologist”.

Her words were strong and I decided I wanted to be part of my top important people.

But, how to do it without dropping my responsibilities?

Dropping things was an option but not the one I chose. I chose to learn to set boundaries.

I started with boundaries towards my perfectionism: I gave myself permission not to be the perfect student and I gave myself permission not to give an extra mile in everything I did. The time and energy I got from that, went into rest and fun.

I allowed myself to have a messy house and spend time exercising.

I learned to say, “Although I can, I am not going to do this”

I learned to ask for help but also to receive it.

2 years after that conversation with my doctor, my brain spots were gone and I hadn’t had a headache for a long, long time. She took out the pills. No more medication needed.

I am still grateful to her. I learned my lesson on self-prioritization and self-care.

Not only the headaches disappeared, but also all the other symptoms I used to experience regularly. My body rarely aches now. And when it does I ask myself: what is my body trying to tell me? which of my needs am I neglecting?

Do you listen to your needs?

Do you acknowledge your symptoms? Or you just pack everything in the “stress” bag and keep going?

Do you list all the reasons why this is not the right time to become your priority? Are you convincing yourself successfully?

If so, make sure to have a conversation with someone who won’t fall in the “I will do it when…” trap.

If you would like to speak with me about it, reach out by clicking this link

https://calendly.com/awareness-coaching/lets-connect

Choose you preferred way to stay connected with me by clicking https://neon.page/awareness-coaching